You know me, I'm a sucker for anything that brings back nostalgic memories of my 1980s youth up north.
So when this crazy bird called Sarah whipped out a tray with a carefully constructed tightly packed turned-out bowl of flour perched on it out from behind my mate’s basement bar, fond recollections of my childhood birthday parties came flooding back.
Only I wasn’t eight and drinking soda stream orange pop from a plastic cup whilst nibbling on a butterfly bun. Nor was I wearing pigtails, Fergie bows and a tartan pinafore dress (although we did have some 1980s inspired nibbles courtesy of Victoria).
Instead I was knocking back Prosecco like it was about to be declared extinct, caterwauling across the room like a 30-something fishwife, swearing like a navvy and egging on my fellow female friends as we all clocked the tray; the next drinking game in a long line of drinking games at one of Sarah’s crazy parties.
We all knew instantly where this game was going.
One of my ten lovely, dolled-up and more-than-a-little-bit-tipsy friends and fellow female business owners sat around a table scattered with empty plastic shot glasses, wine glasses, champagne glasses and half eaten pizza slices was gunna end up with a boat race covered in flour. And it sure as hell wasn’t going to be me!
In her animated voice with her over-the-top mannerisms Sarah explained the instructions to the next game – using the knife, cut the flour pie up without it collapsing. The one who cuts it to the point of collapse, sticks their head in the flour pile and has to retrieve the 5 pence piece with their gob.
We were egging each other on like Irish travellers…
watching a bare-knuckle fist fight as we watched each other eagerly… one by one we took our turn to carefully slice the flour. Well as carefully as one can after seven shots of potent green stuff and a vat of Prosecco.
Sarah is somewhere between a less annoying version of Iranian comedian Shaparak “Shappi” Khorsandi and a female Michael Mcintyre.
She’s the brainchild behind new a venture called Sazzle Entertainment, which promises to deliver a funny-as-fuck, piss-you-pants, all round side-splittingly hilarious night of pissed-up entertainment and Northern humour to any all-female private party.
“All-female private party” I hear you say? “What’s a party / girl’s night if there’s none of the opposite sex to antagonise, irritate, provoke, tease, take the piss out of”?
I get ya. Even though I am a happily married woman, a night out without any testosterone in the room is a pretty boring concept. Unless of course the inferior sex in replaced with night hosted by this larger than life, uproarious, vivacious and incredibly articulate lady with the an attention to detail that promises an none-stop 4 hour train ride of fun, filth, f-bombs and frolics.
Of course if drinking isn’t your thing, she is able to entertain a room full of girls who don’t drink.
I can only imagine what fun and filth Sarah could bring to a booze-free baby shower… or better still, the mother-in-laws 70th!
Sarah, of Iranian origin herself, has the energy levels of Drax Power Station…
and the exceptionally rare human qualities required for entertaining and more importantly supervising and keeping control of groups of very competitive, very leary and very drunk mid-30s woman. Whilst drinking nothing but tap water herself.
She adapts instantly to her surroundings…
Or rather the personas of the girls she is entertaining. She can do pure potty mouth or responsible, well-spoken adult depending on what the night requires. Although I urge you to let her run with the former, because her exaggerated mannerisms combined with the hoity-toity accent as she drops f-bomb and f-bomb is comedy genius.
I expect she’s often mistaken for the cleaner…
Rocking up to ones house with a few two litre bottles of green liquid, rubber gloves, and a few bog rolls. But it certainly doesn’t take long to fathom that the green liquid is in fact some kind of disgusting Schnapps type thing that we are all expected to down every time we are last, wrong, or even right.
I came home with several bruises, a pulled groin, covered in lipstick, pizza and flour and memories that my fellow Boss Babes and I will be giggling about for years to come.
If you want a proper good girly night in, that you and your girly friends will laugh about for years to come. Or you want to throw the ultimate hen-party-night-in for a bride-to-be then get on the blower to Sarah NOW!
What you need to know:
Prices vary but start at £15 per person. All nights are tailor-made to the requirements of the group and don’t have to be boozy. Alongside hen dos, birthday parties, baby showers and other all-female leisure evenings. Sarah also caters for events such as corporate team building.
Sarah is running a fundraising evening, raising money for Mini Mermaids…
Ladies only on 9th June at 7.30pm at The Bar Below in Headingly. Tickets are £15 and include chilli and wedges, so if you want to see what she’s all about before you book her for your do, this is the perfect opportunity.
Contact Sarah via Facebook. Click HERE for more info.